writing an obituary creates a factual, respectful summary of a person's life and death, typically published in newspapers or online. It includes essential details like full name, date of death, surviving family, and key life milestones. The goal is to inform the public and honor the deceased with clarity and care.
Obituaries serve as public records of passing. They are not personal eulogies, though they may reflect character through selected accomplishments and relationships. Most are written by family members or funeral directors under tight word limits-usually 100 to 300 words. Accuracy matters: dates, names, and affiliations must be verified.
The Associated Press Stylebook recommends avoiding hyperbole and emotional language. Phrases like "beloved" or "devoted" are acceptable only if supported by context. Obituaries avoid speculation about cause of death unless confirmed by medical records. A single sentence may state the cause if it's widely known and relevant-such as "died after a long battle with cancer."
writing an obituary follows a standard structure: headline, basic facts, life timeline, surviving relatives, and service details. The headline usually states the full name and date of death. For example: "John Michael Thompson, 78, of Portland, died Tuesday, March 12, 2024."
Next comes a brief narrative-typically 2-3 paragraphs-covering education, career, military service, major achievements, and community involvement. This section focuses on measurable impact: "He earned a degree in mechanical engineering from MIT in 1969 and spent 35 years at General Electric, leading the development of energy-efficient turbines."
Final paragraphs list surviving family members, often in order of proximity: spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings. A note about services follows: "A celebration of life will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday, March 16, at St. Paul's Church, 145 Oak Street."
Every obituary contains five core elements:
Some publications allow space for a short quote or memory. For example: "He once said, 'The best part of teaching is seeing students figure it out.'" Such additions humanize the piece without straying into sentimentality.
When writing for print, word count is strictly enforced. The New York Times limits obituaries to 250 words. Online versions may run longer but still require brevity. A 200-word obituary for a retired schoolteacher might read:
Mary Elizabeth Carter, 82, of Madison, Wisconsin, died on April 5, 2024. Born in Milwaukee, she graduated from Marquette University in 1961 with a degree in elementary education. She taught third grade for 32 years at Lincoln Elementary, earning the State Teacher of the Year award in 1995. She is survived by her husband, Robert, daughter Sarah, and grandson Daniel. A private burial will be held at Forest Hill Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Madison Literacy Program.
Obituaries fall into two categories: standard and extended. Standard obituaries fit newspaper word limits and focus on facts. Extended obituaries appear in online archives or memorial websites and may include photos, video clips, or audio recordings of speeches.
A common error is listing too many survivors. The Society of Professional Journalists advises naming only immediate family unless the deceased had a large extended network. Overloading names dilutes focus.
Another mistake is including unverified claims. For example: "She was the first woman to lead a Fortune 500 company." Without documentation, such statements risk defamation. Always verify achievements through official records, alumni directories, or public filings.
| Type | Length | Use Case | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Standard | 100-250 words | Newspaper publication | "David Lee Wong, 67, of San Diego, died January 14, 2024." |
| Extended | 300-600 words | Online memorial site | Includes childhood memories, career milestones, and photo gallery. |
People often confuse obituaries with eulogies. An obituary informs; a eulogy mourns. The former is factual, the latter emotional. One person might write both-but they serve different purposes. A eulogy delivered at a service may reference a detail omitted from the obituary due to space.
Another misunderstanding: that obituaries must be formal. While tradition favors neutral tone, modern obituaries increasingly reflect personality. A 2023 study by the National Funeral Directors Association found that 68% of families now include at least one anecdote or hobby. One wrote: "He played jazz piano every Sunday at the local café, even after his diagnosis."
writing an obituary is required by law in some states for death registration. In California, the Department of Public Health mandates that funeral homes submit a completed obituary form within 72 hours of death. This ensures consistent data collection for important statistics.
Public use extends beyond media. Obituaries help communities process loss. When a teacher dies, neighbors may attend the service because the obituary highlighted their role in the school district. They also aid genealogical research. Ancestry.com indexes millions of obituaries, enabling users to trace lineage through shared surnames and locations.
I once helped a widow write her husband's obituary after he passed suddenly. She struggled to balance grief with accuracy. We reviewed his resume, church records, and old letters. One line stood out: "He volunteered at the food pantry every Friday for 20 years." That detail, verified by the shelter director, became the emotional anchor of the piece.
Obituaries differ from death notices and tributes. A death notice is shorter, often limited to name, date, and funeral time. It appears in classified sections. A tribute is informal-shared on social media or in a personal blog-and may include photos, music, or poetry.
One non-obvious rule: never use initials instead of full names. Even if the person went by "J.D." in daily life, the obituary must use "James David Smith." Initials can cause confusion in databases and legal records.
Another correction: the term "passed away" is acceptable but not required. The AP Stylebook allows "died," "deceased," or "passed away," depending on family preference. However, "left us" or "went home" are discouraged-they lack precision and may mislead readers about the time of death.
Always double-check spelling of names, especially surnames with foreign origins. A misspelled name in a national publication can delay estate processing. Use tools like the U.S. Social Security Death Master File to confirm names and dates.
Finally, remember: writing an obituary is not about perfection. It's about truth. A well-written obituary doesn't glorify-it remembers. It says, "This person lived. They mattered. Here is proof."