The pronoun "they" is used as a singular pronoun to refer to a person whose gender is non-binary, unspecified, or unknown. This usage reflects identity and respects personal expression in spoken and written language.
Singular they emerged in Middle English and has been documented in literature since the 14th century. It is grammatically valid and widely accepted in formal writing, including by major style guides. The American Psychological Association (APA) recognizes singular they as appropriate for individuals who identify outside the male/female binary. The Oxford English Dictionary notes that singular they has been used by writers such as Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and George Orwell.
When someone says "they their pronouns," they are asserting that "they" is their preferred singular pronoun. This includes using "they" instead of "he" or "she" in conversation and writing. For example, if a person named Jamie says, "Jamie is coming to the meeting-they'll bring the report," the speaker uses "they" to match Jamie's identity and chosen language.
Singular they functions as a third-person singular pronoun in both subject and object positions. It replaces "he" or "she" when the gender of the person is irrelevant, unknown, or non-conforming. It agrees with singular antecedents in number, not gender.
Examples:
This construction avoids gendered assumptions. It is not a new invention-it has been part of English for centuries. The Merriam-Webster dictionary lists "they" as a singular pronoun with multiple definitions, including "used to refer to a single person whose gender is not specified."
Singular they is used in four primary contexts:
| Context | Use Case | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Non-binary identity | Respecting a person's gender identity | "Alex uses they/them pronouns. They're presenting today." |
| Unknown gender | When the person's gender is not known | "A customer called. They wanted to return the item." |
| Gender-neutral reference | Generalizing without assuming gender | "Anyone who wants to join must bring their ID." |
| Emphasis on identity | Personal declaration of pronouns | "My pronouns are they/them. Please use them." |
Some people use "they" even when the gender is known, especially in cases where the person identifies as genderqueer or agender. This choice is not about ambiguity-it's about affirmation.
Many assume singular they violates grammar rules. This is incorrect. The rule that pronouns must agree in number with their antecedent holds-but not in gender. A singular antecedent takes a singular pronoun, regardless of gender. "They" is singular in meaning, even though it appears plural in form.
Another myth is that using "they" makes writing vague. But clarity comes from context, not pronoun gender. Consider: "The doctor arrived late. They apologized." The pronoun "they" refers to the doctor, not multiple doctors. The sentence remains unambiguous.
A less obvious point: singular they is not interchangeable with "one" or "you" in formal writing. While "one" can be used in formal contexts ("One should always check the instructions"), it sounds stiff and impersonal. "They" is more natural and inclusive.
In 2021, the U.S. Census Bureau updated its forms to include a gender-neutral option and allow respondents to select "they/them" as their pronouns. This marked a significant step toward institutional recognition of non-binary identities.
I once facilitated a team meeting where a new member introduced themselves as "Taylor, and my pronouns are they/them." I used "they" throughout the session. The team responded positively-no confusion arose. Later, Taylor said, "I felt seen for the first time in a professional setting." That moment confirmed how small linguistic choices carry weight.
Major publications now reflect this shift. The New York Times Style Guide permits singular they when referring to a person whose gender is not disclosed or is non-binary. The Guardian also supports its use, stating that "singular they is standard in modern English."
Singular they is not a replacement for "he" or "she" in all cases. It is not a synonym for "it" or "them" in plural contexts. It is not a grammatical error. It is not a trend-it is a long-standing feature of English.
It is also not synonymous with "we" or "us" in collective references. "They" refers to a single individual, not a group. Using "they" for a single person is distinct from using "they" for multiple people.
Confusion sometimes arises when people mix up "they" as a plural pronoun with "they" as a singular pronoun. The difference lies in the antecedent. If the antecedent is singular, the pronoun is singular-even if it looks plural.
Using "they their pronouns" correctly respects identity, maintains clarity, and follows established linguistic norms. It is not a deviation-it is a return to a foundational element of English.